Unscrupulous diners will be tempted to sample every flavor, from the citrus bite of Mountain Dew to the oddly over-syruped Diet Sprite. One may need a sweet soda to counter the lightly marinated bite of the grilled-chicken sandwich — the same teriyaki-leaning glaze that everybody seems to be doing this year.
I remember seeing Greenwich Village from seven feet up in the air growing up as a kid, because he’d have me on his shoulders and we’d be tripping around. And at a time before underground and independent film became a hot idea, then a dirty word, then a hot idea again as it is nowadays, my dad was making films that influenced a generation of filmmakers — films like Putney Swope. Here’s just one of the lines from it. [Sings] ‘I have a malignancy in my prostate / but when you’re in my arms, it’s benign.’ “Growing up in Downey Sr.’s house, the commodity was wit, the commodity was political commentary, the commodity was innovation, and that’s what I grew up feeling very inspired by. And I wound up getting recruited … I had the dubious honor — hey Lorne — of being on probably the worst season of Saturday Night Live. And I still had a great time and it was a great experience. Thanks for not kicking me off the show — I was up to some pretty nefarious acts in the dressing room. Unless I need mention the obvious, it was a period of time when being a Gen X guy … if I’m influencing anything, it’s about survival, surviving a time of that post-sixties, we-don’t-know-who-we-are-or-what-to-do. It was a time when being self-destructive seemed in. And we weren’t quite sure what we were rebelling against, but we took a pretty heavy fall and we lost a lot of people. So I remember when I was at my very lowest, my dad, who had put down all that dumb stuff twenty years before, said, ‘Hey kid, stick around. It’s not so bad. Just stay on the planet”
…Jr. turned to his dad, but his voice cracked and he couldn’t quite get out his sentence…
“And so tonight … [long pause] I just want to honor my dad for being every inch the man I remember him to be and thank him.”
…The applause swelled. Not an eye in the house was dry. Then Jr. turned the mike over to Sr., who stared at him blankly and deadpanned…
“I’m not your father.”
…Downey Jr. stood there, mouth agape, for a moment, before crumpling over in laugher and hugging his dad…
“You son of a bitch! You just let me get all fucking emotional?”
Dear Elle - Did you say something about Greenies? I love Greenies, but my mom won’t let me eat them because I love them so much I swallow them whole and then barf them up later. Yum! Can’t wait to meet you! Snort. -DumboDear Dumbo,
You are so hot! Make sure our moms coordinate so we can go terrorize the big dogs and makeout in Central Park. I think warm weather is on the horizon. If it is warm next weekend, maybe we can make that our first date? I don’t like to go out in the rain/cold. I will try to find a treat that you won’t puke up. Swallowing greenies whole is not good! I can’t wait to meet you too!
Love, Elle
doggie love is rather cute. treat her well, dumbo. elle is one hot bitch.
Blogging, Scheer thinks, has developed a seriousness because bloggers hope that someone will discover their genius and buy their movie script, cookbook or essay collection. Tumblers simply hope someone will enjoy their cleverness, then look at their blog and then buy their movie script, cookbook or essay collection.
Julia Allison: OMG Nick I have a stalker! A blog stalker!
Me: Yes. And?
Julia Allison: Nick, how could you be so callous? This is serious! I’m scared of this person! I mean, they’re posting stuff about me that isn’t fed to them directly by me or through the two dozen or so email addresses that I use to submit things about myself “anonymously” to Gawker Media editors after they’ve ignored my direct solicitations via email and IM. Besides, Gawker Media editors are my friends, Nick. Or at least they’re foolish enough to think that they’re my friend because I suck up to them so effectively from the day that they come on board. I ask them for relationship advice, or about their girlfriends and boyfriends, then I pretend to actually listen to them, and before you know it I’ve got them right in the palm of my hand. Look at Emily, she was all “ew vomit” towards me at first, but then I just kept showing up in her world and eventually won her over by beating her into submission, to the point that she was spiking stories about me, dogsitting Lilly, and roadtriping with me to see Staten Island psychics. But this Baugher is someone I can’t control and manipulate, and it’s scary Nick, scary I tell you!
Me: Yawn.
Julia Allison: What? “Yawn?” But Nick, I thought we were in this together! I thought we were a team! You know, you and I working side by side to carefully craft this “Julia Allison” persona. That’s what we’ve been doing for the last two years. How else would anyone even know my fucking name? How else would I have this job at Star? How else would Bravo even give me the time of day, much less my own television show? Gawker posts things about me, things that are carefully vetted and planted by me of course, I get famous along the way, you get to play kingmaker, so it all works out and we both get what we want; I get the fame and you get the power. Now, you’ve GOT to help me ferret out this Baugher person and shame them publicly! They’re digging up all the things that I never wanted to come out about myself, which is why I changed my name mind you, and publishing everything on this vicious blog.
Me: Frankly Julia, I’m both bored and disappointed by you. You’ve turned into something so clownish, so over the top foolish, that even I find you to be an abomination. I wish that you would just go away. You’re an embarrassment to me, the person who, metaphorically speaking, gave birth to “Julia Allison,” just as you’re an embarrassment to the person from whose loins you actually sprung. I’ve found other means to manufacture pageviews, so I really don’t need you any longer. I’m one of the few people around here who wasn’t foolish enough to fall for your “friendship” charms and saw you merely as something to be used, like a condom, a condom that I’ve already blown my load in and can now discard as rubbish. However, I’ll do you this favor and post something as an aside, as long as you promise to just go away. I’d really like nothing more than to divorce myself from you. Now what would you like for me to say?
Julia Allison: Well, okay. Mention that Baugher’s a woman, an old menopausal woman, like forty or something, who lives in someplace dreary and depressing like Seattle. And say that she does something gross for a living, like lawyering. And oh, mention that she’s a lonely divorcee who has like, five cats. And of course, she HAS to be the worst form of subhuman in the history of the world, a Gawker commenter!
Nick: Very well. Consider it done. But really Julia, what’s so bad about having a blog “stalker” anyway? Between you and me, I kind of secretly wish that I had one.
When you’re a teenager and in your early twenties [love] seems desperately eternal and excruciatingly painful. Whereas as you grow older you realise that most things are excruciatingly painful and that is the human condition. Most of us continue to survive because we’re convinced that somewhere along the line, with grit and determination and perseverance, we will end up in some magical union with somebody. It’s a fallacy, of course, but it’s a form of religion. You have to believe. There is a light that never goes out and it’s called hope.
Any interest?I’m doing Zog Sports Dodgeball right now and have nothing but good things to say for the organization and the people I’ve met doing it.
Therefore, I’d have interest in this as well.
Cool! Teams usually consist of 9-10 players, guys and girls, with 5 on the field at a time. Early registration ends May 2 so if anyone else is interested shoot me an email - hi.happycap@gmail. Wiffle ball rules!
I’m interested, can we make up team t-shirts?
From: LINDA SCHROEDER
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 2:50 PM
To: Jessica Schroeder
Subject: THUR-04-24-08
HI JESS,I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH.MOM
i’ve actually considered breaking the caps lock key next time i’m in florida. moms love caps lock. i guess its kind of endearing.
Finally, IT Girls promises to take watching-me-watching-you media narcissism to a new plane. A girl who is famous for photographing her every move, sets up a pretend chat show which is itself the focus of cameras from a cable show. So meta! And that will, for a blog that has designated Allison an icon of a new age of self-levitating celebrity, make great entertainment.
Julia TV Gets The Green Light (via melissa) (via jessicagoldharalson)
the de-evolution will be televised.
If interns are doing valuable work, pay them.Someone PLEASE send this memo to the journalism industry, which considers unpaid internships a badge of honor.
Unpaid internships are great for the Tina TrustFunds of the world who have Mommy and Daddy to support their aspirations. But for those of us who need to eat? Not so much.
i wholeheartedly agree. i can’t take unpaid internships. financially cannot.
the irony is that there are great, paid internships available, but those internships that are the coveted, highly-competitive ones are nearly always unpaid.
i think internships—in general—encourage a climate that caters to students financially reliant upon their parents (you know, the ones who complain about their course load, but haven’t held a job in their life), and results in companies wondering why their interns don’t have a developed work ethic or the professional skills necessary to jump right into a demanding position.
no wonder the internship stereotype of fetching coffee and doughnuts from the local shop still exists—because most students don’t have any developed skills beyond commerce economy, as in, they know how to buy shit with a credit card, and that’s really about it.
the most qualified interns are probably the ones that can’t afford to apply for your unpaid internship, because they are the ones who’ve been working since they could apply for a work permit, know why they want to work and would seek to develop new skills from their employer, instead of just taking a job to complete their perfume-scented resume.
a-freakin-men.
unpaid internships are for trust fund brats.
Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People…they don’t write anymore - they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.
David Duchovny’s Character Hank Moody on episode 5 of Californication (via wearethegeeks)
Did the new season start yet???
As a nerd who spent a lifetime in meticulous study of nerdly arcana, it really irks me to see these girls pretending to be about technology.
Hey, Megan: In case no one told you yet, quoting Calacanis and traipsing around CNET is a surefire way to completely destroy your geek cred. You know those annoying people who pretend to know about fashion, but every time they open their mouths, you can tell they’re two seconds out of Fashion 101? Well, that’s you, but with tech, and nerds are waayyy meaner than Anna Wintour.
(via simko)
An interesting glimpse into one of my favorite creative minds.- very interesting article, thanks for sharing. My favorite part, “Then he got the existential bitch-slap of ulcerative colitis, the disease that led to his father’s death when Jacobs was only 7. A nutritionist, Lindsey Duncan, recommended a monastic diet—no flour, dairy, sugar, or caffeine—as well as exercise. Jacobs was so enamored of the results he made the regimen his religion.”
Why do I feel weird listening to Paul’s Boutique now? Dammit, it’s nice to make new friends and hang out and all, but this messing with my listening pleasure is not on. Especially on a particularly Paul’s Boutique-y kind of day like today.
“lookin down the barrell of a gun, son of a gun, son of a bitch, gettin paid, gettin rich”