The Goldman Sachs Muppets song: Client or Muppet? - Felix TV for Reuters TV
Two Goldman Sachs “clients” take a look at themselves after Greg Smith’s New York Times op-ed in this musical puppet number. A parody of the Oscar-winning song “Man or Muppet” rewritten by author and law professor Frank Partnoy.
Goldman Sachs Group Inc has begun scanning internal emails for the term “muppet”
Easily my favorite Reuters TV video to date.
A top executive hands his resignation letter to Goldman Sachs, via the New York Times. A sample:
“It makes me ill how callously people talk about ripping their clients off. Over the last 12 months I have seen five different managing directors refer to their own clients as “muppets,” sometimes over internal e-mail. Even after the S.E.C., Fabulous Fab, Abacus, God’s work, Carl Levin, Vampire Squids? No humility? I mean, come on. Integrity? It is eroding. I don’t know of any illegal behavior, but will people push the envelope and pitch lucrative and complicated products to clients even if they are not the simplest investments or the ones most directly aligned with the client’s goals? Absolutely. Every day, in fact.”
And DealBook live blogging the reaction.
More memorable bridge burners…
Google: http://bit.ly/whVQ9s
TechCrunch: http://tcrn.ch/zv0KNJ
(h/t @zseward)
My reaction? What took him so long? Will he be donating the money he made while at Goldman to charity? Self righteous indignation is so much easier after the checks have already cleared.
Goldman is so concerned about the potential for criticism that the firm’s representatives have been alerting staffers of lawmakers in Washington of the hiring spree in recent weeks as a way to mollify any concerns they may have about previously undisclosed plans to add 1,000 jobs to the firm’s Singapore office, according to people in Washington with direct knowledge if the matter. Goldman is concerned about criticism because it is adding those jobs while it is planning what could be a significant retrenchment in its U.S. workforce, these people say.
To recap: Goldman, to get $1.2 billion in crap off its books, dumps a huge lot of deadly mortgages on its clients, lies about where that crap came from and claims it believes in the product even as it’s betting $2 billion against it. When its victims try to run out of the burning house, Goldman stands in the doorway, blasts them all with gasoline before they can escape, and then has the balls to send a bill overcharging its victims for the pleasure of getting fried.
According to its latest filing with the S.E.C., Goldman ended 2010 with assets of $911 billion, which means its ROA for the year was roughly .91 per cent. (Yes, that is less than one per cent.) Apple ended 2010 with total assets of $86.7 billion, which means it generated an ROA of about 20.3 per cent.
To summarize: Apple isn’t merely generating a higher return on the capital it employs than Goldman; it is more than twenty times as profitable!
Facebook financials leak : $500 million in 2010 profit, sources say
The Goldman customer said he received a separate six-page financial statement containing information on the social networking company.
The document provides some of the most detailed financial information yet about Facebook, which Goldman recently valued at $50 billion in a separate, $450 million funding.
That valuation is high, but not outrageous based on the glimpse into the company’s financial performance and the growth that it implies, said Ryan Jacob, of the Jacob Internet Fund.
“It just shows you that these businesses can generate 30 percent to 40 percent, potentially, operating margins,” he said. “They probably did at least $500 million in net income in 2010.”
Goldman Sachs recently emailed wealthy clients who might be interested in investing in Facebook. The WSJ’s Deal Journal got a peek at the email — and noticed a a striking resemblance to the language in a Nigerian email scam.
Goldman’s message begins:
When you have a chance I wanted to find a time to discuss a highly confidential and time sensitive investment opportunity in a private company …
For confidentiality reasons, I am unable to tell you the name of the company unless you agree not to use such information other than in connection with your evaluation of the investment opportunity and to keep all information that we reveal to you strictly confidential.
And, for comparison, here’s a Nigerian email quoted by Deal Journal:
FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND ‘TOP SECRET’. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.
Instant classic. I’m wondering now - Is Goldman Sachs the one behind the Nigerian e-mail scam?
(Source: journo-geekery)
According to a customer who received a letter from Goldman, clients were given just until the end of this week to decide whether they want a piece of the social networking giant.
The world’s largest investment bank this week agreed to invest $475 million into Facebook and initiated plans to raise as much as $1.5 billion through a special purpose investment vehicle marketed to its private wealth management customers. The private sales would value Facebook at $50 billion,
Holding the keys to one of the hottest investment opportunities around, Goldman gave ultra-wealthy clients little time to decide. Customers who received the Goldman email on Sunday were required to sign a nondisclosure agreement.
As for Goldman, it has probably bought itself the IPO mandate, which could easily generate hundreds of millions of dollars in fee income. It has also become the only investment bank which can give its rich-people clients a coveted pre-IPO stake in Facebook: the extra cachet that brings and the possible extra clients, make this investment a no-brainer. Facebook doesn’t need to stay worth $50 billion forever — Goldman just needs to engineer an IPO valuation somewhere north of that, then exit quietly in the public markets. And that is surely within its abilities.
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