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So … Len Burman, a Forbes blogger, wrote a story for April Fool's Day with the headline "Romney Drops Out of Race, Endorses Santorum." Because this headline showed up at the top of Google News, it was taken down almost immediately. But here's the story, quoted for posterity.
In a surprise move, Mitt Romney announced today that he is ending his presidential campaign and throwing his support behind Rick Santorum. The move shocked observers, including Senator Santorum, as Governor Romney seemed poised for a decisive victory in Wisconsin.
The governor, however, said he concluded that he has “no chance” to win the general election in December and that a Santorum candidacy in 2012 would be in the “best interest of the party.”
He explained, “It will save time. As many observers have pointed out, my defeat in 2012 will be interpreted by the party faithful as evidence that our problem is that we’ve become too pragmatic and moderate. In 2016, we’ll ˜correct™ that and nominate some right-wing nut and get demolished in the general election.
It’ll be like Goldwater in 1964. I don’t want to wait until 2020 to get my party back. I’m all about efficiency. Let’s get our butts kicked now and move on.”
When asked if he was worried that a Santorum thrashing in 2012 would also cause GOP losses in Congress, Romney said, “sure, but many of the losers will be those Tea Party nuts. If they go back home, Congress may actually be able to get some work done for the American people.”
The governor also said that he “wasnt really troubled” at the prospect that a Democratic Congress and President Obama would guarantee the survival of the presidents health reform.
“Look, I invented Obamacare and Im proud of it. If Id been the candidate in 2008, that would have been my signature issue, and Id have won. 98 percent of people in Massachusetts have health insurance. Its ridiculous that my party thinks its just fine for 50 million Americans to lack health insurance, access to preventive care, and all that. We can spend the next four years thinking about how to improve on health reform, rather than sabotage it.”
Senator Santorum said that he was “gratified, I think, at the governors endorsement.
Newt Gingich pointed out that he is still in the race and expects to prevail at the GOP convention in August.
Remember everyone, satire only works if it’s funny and doesn’t make your publication look stupid.
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By focusing on problem selection, rather than rushing out an innovation no one wants like so many trigger-happy entrepreneurs, Parker put himself in position for the string of blockbusters that his critics blithely attribute to sequential luck. Napster was the transition between CDs and MP3s after the Internet made it possible to strip content from its container. Facebook was a vehicle to create a reliable identity in an anonymous online world. Spotify is an attempt to fix the very music industry that Napster helped break a decade before.
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I really don’t mean to pick on Forbes today but is it just me or is this a suboptimal layout?
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Wikileaks Next Target : Big Business
Early next year, Julian Assange says, a major American bank will suddenly find itself turned inside out. Tens of thousands of its internal documents will be exposed on Wikileaks.org with no polite requests for executives’ response or other forewarnings. The data dump will lay bare the finance firm’s secrets on the Web for every customer, every competitor, every regulator to examine and pass judgment on.
