Dear tumblrs,
I dont know you. Get the fuck out of my dreams.
Thanks,
Me.
*********
Last night i had a dream that i went out drinking with Jared. I got pretty fucking hammered and didnt remember anything, although i woke up naked in bed with him and felt pretty satisfied. He was wearing womans underwear, and they weren’t mine. For some reason this didnt surprise me. After a couple of post-coital words were exchanged, random people walked into the bedroom like it was the living room of their house or something.
As the group joked around about the nights events, i discovered that we had actually had an orgy. A marketing director at my agency was also listening in, which completely threw a wet blanket on my morning.
Jared got dressed and told me now that we’ve fucked, he doesnt ever have to talk to me again. I pretended that i didnt care. I was slightly horrified and called my friend who i thought could offer advice in situations like this.
She laughed and thought it would make for a great blog.
Can you get me a job at Facebook?!? :)