I love Coke more than anything, but I know full well that it’s poison. It destroys your teeth. It increases your appetite. It turns children in evil rage Gremlins. It offers nothing in the way of nutritional value. I have a cousin who used to work for UPS and whenever they had to clean the inside of the UPS truck, they doused the inside with Coke because it acted as a corrosive agent. That’s how fucking horrible soda is for you. It has no business being sold in public schools. Any soda lobbyist telling you about the benefits of drinking their product is a liar and a fucking scumbag. We all know it’s bad for us, and yet we continue drinking it (take it from someone who is currently unable to stop drinking Coke Zero).